Ephesians Study 11

Ephesians Study 11:

Live Like You Know Jesus

Live Like You Know Jesus – Ephesians 4:17-31

Introduction

Hello again to everyone who is joining me today. My name is Sarah Bradbury, and this is Garden to Glory: The Mystery of God.

You are listening to the eleventh installment in the study on the book of Ephesians. In our last two studies, we looked at the beginning of Paul’s practical instructions for how the church is supposed to live in light of the work of God through Jesus.

We looked at the unity of the body of Christ, which is the foundation for church members to treat each other with love and kindness. We also discussed how the diversity of those who make up the body of Christ does not take away from the unity of the whole. Instead, as every person uses their abilities and strengths to their full potential, the body of Christ gets stronger and builds itself up.

In our passage today, the Apostle Paul takes us further into the particulars of how a believer should live in light of all God is doing. He shows us a contrast between the non-believing Gentiles of his day and those who have been changed by their knowledge and belief in Jesus.

As we look at these instructions, we will consider how the lives of believers today should be different than the lifestyles we commonly see in the secular, or non-religious, world of our time.

So, let’s begin by reading our passage for today, Ephesians 4:17-31:

With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against Him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Have you ever had someone assume that you must be a Christian without having ever talked about your faith with that person? I have; it can be a weird experience. My first reaction tends to be positive. There must be something about the way I live and interact with others that makes it clear that I follow Jesus. I’m witnessing without saying a word! However, there are a wide variety of assumptions that people can have about what it means to act like a Christian.

Has the person I am talking to experienced church hurt and felt judgement from people claiming the name of Jesus? I certainly hope I’m not making others feel judged everywhere I go. Maybe instead of judgment, they think of Christians as people who love everyone. That is a witness I’d be much more thankful to have.

Maybe they’re associating Christianity with political views. Does this mean they think I’m a red hat Republican or more like the ministers of various denominations who have spoken out for immigrants and the poor?

Perhaps identifying me as Christian had nothing to do with any of those things. After all, I think the last time someone said this to me was in the pre-Trump days when politics were not nearly as forefront in the minds of most people.

Maybe what they saw in me was less about my worldview. Maybe they just think of Christians as socially awkward or sheltered. It’s possible I was giving off a “homeschool” vibe. I was homeschooled for a time, after all!

These are the thoughts that float through my mind when someone says, “You’re a Christian aren’t you?” I’m sure there are endless scenarios of what that question could mean coming from any individual.

The Differences of the Past and Present

However, the Apostle Paul was not weighed down by stereotypes of what society assumed Christians were like. After all, the culture of his time was still learning along with the early Christians what being a follower of Jesus even looked like!

From our vantage point, I think we can see some positive aspects of this. Imagine trying to talk to someone about Jesus for the first time and discovering that they literally know nothing about Christianity – no assumptions whatsoever. Just who is this Jesus?

You wouldn’t have to start by explaining all the things that Jesus isn’t like to counter their assumptions. Instead, you could just tell them who Jesus is and what He has done for them.

Also, early Christians could tell others about Jesus while witnesses of His life and miracles were still alive! And many people in the church were still performing amazing miracles themselves! It’s no wonder this was a time of such immense growth in the size of the church.

I’ll be honest; I’m kind of jealous for that whole early church experience thing. (You know, apart from all the religious persecution and the constant threat of being killed!)

Thankfully, we are no longer considered a small cult that could possibly threaten the political power of the nation. The sheer prevalence of people going by the name of Christian gives us safety that the believers of Paul’s day – and many Christians around the world even now – did not get to experience.

However, with the safety of familiarity, we now have to overcome many assumptions of what the Christian life looks like, whether those assumptions are found in others or in our own minds.

Don’t Be Like Unbelievers

In our passage in Ephesians, Paul explains for his early readers what the life of a Christian should look like. He doesn’t hold up cliches of Christianity from culture and ask that we follow one example and reject another.

Instead, Paul illustrates what it looks like to be a Christian by explaining what makes it different from being a non-believer. He uses the example of the lives of non-religious Gentile people. These are the same lifestyles his first readers lived before they believed in Jesus. Then he contrasts the motives of that way of life with the example of Jesus.

Laying the groundwork for this contrast, Paul says in Ephesians 4:17-24:

But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.

Paul says here that the Gentiles who have rejected God and hardened their hearts have no sense of shame. They are not concerned by what is right or wrong. Instead, they live their lives for their own sensual pleasure. They are looking for what feels good for themselves in the moment.

We can see from the description of lies, theft, and abusive language in the verses that follow that their pursuit of sensual pleasure outweighs their concern for the good of anyone else. In terms more familiar to us today, the unrepentant Gentiles of Paul’s day were living like narcissists. Everything they said and did was about themselves. They were selfish and did not care about the wellbeing of their neighbors – at least not enough to deny themselves anything.

While I don’t know a lot about the sexual lifestyles of the people in Ephesus at this time, the historian Tom Holland summarized the sexual ethics of the average Roman citizen around this time in his book Dominion.

He said, “In Rome, men no more hesitated to use slaves and prostitutes to relieve themselves of their sexual needs than they did to use the side of a road as a toilet.”

Has Society Gotten Better?

Thankfully, 2,000 years down the line, we can see some improvements in our culture today. Society as a whole no longer condones the completely selfish use of other people’s bodies for our own pleasure without their consent (although we do still see a culture that ignores or minimizes the damage caused by casual physical relationships that are consensual).

Still, most of us – believers or not – see a problem with endlessly sleeping with countless people. We recognize the sorrow that comes with breakups, the loneliness that accompanies one-night stands, and the detriment to physical and mental wellbeing that this kind of lifestyle brings. Society may glorify the temporary state of sowing one’s wild oats, but most of us ultimately look at that life as meaningless, shallow, and harmful.

So, it’s worth asking: does Paul’s description of the lives of unbelievers still hold true in our culture today? I turned to Google for some answers.

According to my quick searches, around 80% of Americans have sex before marriage. Between 20-40% of married men and 10-20% of married women have affairs. 81% of women and 43% of men report experiencing some sort of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetimes. It is estimated that one in five girls and one in 20 boys are victims of childhood sexual abuse, and one survey showed that half of all people have received a “dick pic” at some point in their lives. 90% of dick pics are unsolicited, in case you wondered!

In a post “Me Too” world – and in a country with a president who has been caught on tape describing his participation in sexual misconduct on multiple occasions and has been deeply associated with a convicted pedophile – I think we are all aware that the shameless pursuit of lustful pleasure is very much alive in the world.

What about deception? Do people frequently lie?

When I Googled, “How often do people lie?” I got some mixed results. One study showed that 75% of people reported telling 0-2 lies per day, although I suppose we have to trust that they were being honest about their lies! Another study showed that 60% of adults were unable to have a ten minute conversation without telling at least three lies. These numbers are not even close to each other!

I suppose there is some room for debate regarding what qualifies as a lie. Are you lying if someone quickly asks how you’re doing and you say “fine” when you don’t feel fine, or is that just understood to be the rhythm of casual conversation?

Putting aside the gray area of exactly how much information has to be shared to be truthful, there was one thing that was consistent across the few studies I saw on lying. People are most likely to lie when they want something. They lie at job interviews, on dating profiles, or to avoid consequences from parents or other authorities.

In the age of the internet, we know that people frequently lie to scam others. Politicians lie to get votes. There is immense misinformation spread rapidly online. Sometimes that misinformation is willful lying; at other times, the person is sharing what they believe to be the truth. Either way, deception is still a very big part of the world we live in. It wreaks havoc in society as a whole and in the lives of individuals.

However, deceit corrupts the lives of unbelievers in ways beyond their choice to spread lies. Self-deceit plagues the lives of those who reject Jesus by convincing them that pursuing a life of self-focused pleasure will satisfy them. Paul tells us not to live this way. He says in Ephesians 4:17-24:

Jesus is the truth that sets us free from the futility of living for ourselves. We should not be satisfied with sexual pleasures that destroy instead of building us up. We should strive to be more like God through the power of the Holy Spirit He has given us.

Living By the Spirit

I will emphasize again what I have said in previous studies: living by the Spirit shows itself in our lives by us loving our neighbors more than ourselves.

Paul continues to describe this life of love in Ephesians 4:25-31 by saying:

If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

If we truly love our neighbors, consider them to be people made in the image of God, and long to see them united fully with us in Christ, what motive do we have to lie and deceive them?

If we are seeking unity and love, our anger towards others is not something we should cling to and pursue; it’s at odds with our desire for their good. We ought to let that anger go rather than allow Satan to use our anger to diminish our love for others.

If we are stealing from others, we are showing that we value our own benefit over everyone else. So, Paul instructs us to counter that tendency with the opposite. Work and give to show in your actions that the flourishing of others is more important to you than your own flourishing. Also, be careful with your words. Choose words that build up instead of tear down.

All of the things that Paul teaches here show a pattern: let go of all that is hurtful and harmful towards others and pursue love instead.

Bringing Sorrow to the Spirit

But Paul says something else here that is quite interesting. He says, “Don’t bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live.” It may be obvious to the rest of you, but the concept that we can have the Holy Spirit in us and still choose to live in a way that grieves that Spirit is fascinating to me.

I’ve heard some Christians over the years talk about a lack of spiritual growth in their lives. These believers will at times regretfully acknowledge that when they see a need in the lives of people around them, they feel guilty. Although they want that need to be met, they don’t desire to give up their own time or comfort to meet the needs they see in others.

Sometimes these Christians will wonder why God hasn’t given them enough spiritual growth for them to help others without hesitation. After all, the Spirit is a gift from God. We didn’t earn it, and it’s the gift of this Spirit that results in the love and good works that we are supposed to show.

Philippians 2:13 says:

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

This is why the Apostle Paul frequently tells his readers that he is thanking God for them and for the fruit he sees in their lives. God accomplishes the work in us, including the desire to do the things that please him.

So, it would seem that these Christians are right. If they lack the desire to do the things that please God, maybe they need to pray and wait for God to increase their desire for good.

Yet in our Ephesians passage, Paul tells these believers to show love in their actions towards others. He presents this as a choice that they have to make. It is not an inevitable outcome of the Spirit that they have been given, but rather, it is a decision that they need to make. The gift of the Holy Spirit is what enables us to love others like Jesus, yet we are still required to make the conscious effort to yield to that Spirit.

The verse we just read in Philippians shows us that God is responsible for the good that we desire and accomplish in life, but we are not passive participants in that good. The verse immediately before it, Philippians 2:12, says this:

Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.

We are called to follow the prompting of the Spirit of God in us. That Spirit does not erase the tendencies we have in our sinful nature. If we are waiting for an unreserved desire to do what is right before we are willing to act, we will never follow the leading of God’s Spirit.

In Galatians 5:16-18, we are given a scriptural explanation of this struggle:

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.

These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

That feeling of guilt we may have when we see needs in others that we could meet but don’t want to could very well be this clash of desires. This could be our sinful natures that desire our own good above others fighting with the Spirit of God that pushes us toward love.

Let’s make an effort to avoid grieving the Spirit that God has given us, to consciously choose to be led by that Spirit, and to thwart our sinful natures. This will lead to the spiritual growth that so many Christians long to see. This is the growth that eventually leads to less resistance in our hearts when we are given the choice to love others more than ourselves.

Are We Living Under a New Law?

At this point, you may be wondering how willfully choosing to deny yourself and love others by following the list of commands given in this passage differs from the Jews of the Old Testament following the commands of the law. We may have changed what the rules are, but aren’t we doing the same thing?

The truth is, we could easily take these commands (and others we find in the New Testament) and use them as building blocks to make a new type of law to justify ourselves by. In fact, many Christians have done just that over the years.

We can look at our passage in Ephesians and say, “OK, don’t lie, steal, get angry, or have sex outside of marriage, and then we’ll be good. That’s what it means to be a Christian.” If we do this, we are immensely oversimplifying the Christian life, and we risk living like the Jewish people of the past by relying on our own works to get us to heaven instead of believing in Jesus.

But the passage we read in Ephesians today does not come to us in isolation from the rest of the book. Paul does tell us there are actions that should identify us as Christians, but he first spent three and a half chapters telling us about the beliefs we should have in Jesus. These beliefs are what will lead us to want to behave in a way that is different from those who do not have these beliefs.

It is not that our actions prove or earn our status as Christians, but rather, our status as believers will lead us to a life that looks different.

In reference to the freedom believers have from the Old Testament law, Paul tells us this in Galatians 5:13-14:

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

We are not given a list of rules that will determine whether or not we make it to Heaven. In fact, every command given in Scripture is something that believers across time have violated at one point or another. The Bible actually tells us that claiming we don’t have sin is a much bigger problem than the sin itself.

1 John 1:8-10 says:

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts.

I’m confident that most Christians today would not contend that the commands we see in the New Testament must be followed all of the time in order to make it to Heaven. However, as Christians, I think we do have a tendency to see commands in scripture through an overly black and white lens.

The Spirit of the Law versus the Letter

So, just because I like to stir things up (and because I believe it’s important for us to follow the spirit of the law versus the letter of the law), I’m going to poke some holes in one of the commands Paul gives us in our passage today. I am doing this not to negate the things Paul tells us here, but rather to help us understand the reasons for the commands he is giving. I do this in the hope that we will be able to use wisdom to apply the principles he is giving us to a wider set of circumstances.

So, in Ephesians, Paul tells us to stop telling lies. Yes, we should stop lying because our neighbors deserve to know the truth because we love them. However, is there ever a legitimate reason to lie?

Christians in World War II who were hiding Jews in attics and behind walls thought so. If the motive for telling the truth is to show love to our neighbor, would that motive have been accomplished by telling a Nazi soldier where to find and kill a hiding Jewish family?

I think we’d agree that doing this wouldn’t be the way to show love to that family, but what about to the soldier? Would it be loving to give that soldier another opportunity to exercise evil over another person made in God’s image?

In the Old Testament, we have examples of midwives being blessed by God for saving the lives of Jewish babies even though they lied about their actions. We also read about Rahab, a woman who lied to spare two Israeli spies. She was rewarded for this. In Judges, Jael deceived an enemy of Israel in order to murder him, yet the Bible portrays her actions as heroic.

On the flip side. Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead in Acts for lying to the church in order to appear more generous than they were. In Matthew 10, Jesus tells us not to fear people who can kill us for our belief in Him. He tells us to acknowledge our belief publicly if we want Him to claim us as His own in Heaven.

The point of this tangent is to help us understand that the commands in Scripture are not necessarily “all the time, this is the absolutely right thing to do in every circumstance” kind of commands. Instead, they are general guidelines to help explain what love looks like in action. They are “most all the time, this is very likely the best thing to do” kind of commands.

Time precludes me from making similar examples out of being angry, stealing, and swearing. The point remains that because of our love for God and the Spirit leading us toward loving others, the way we live and interact with people will change. These changes are not dogmatic rules to follow, but rather, they are general principles that apply in normative circumstances.

So as we wrap things up for today, here are some principles we can apply:

1. Live Like You Know Jesus.

We have experienced the love of God through Jesus. He gave up everything for our sake. We know the truth about God’s plan for all of time: that He is uniting all things under Christ. We know that it is our God-ordained destiny to become more like Jesus, which means that we are destined to love like Him.

Knowing all these things means that we no longer walk in darkness. We are no longer confused like those who do not know God, and we should no longer be satisfied to live for sensual pleasure and selfish gain.

The knowledge of who we are in Christ ought to move us to overflow with love, to speak the truth, to let go of anger, to give generously, and to speak words of encouragement.

2. Follow the Spirit’s Lead.

We are told not to bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit. This means that we have the ability to choose between following the Spirit’s lead or following our own selfish, sinful natures.

The knowledge of Jesus frees us to understand enough to make that choice. Yet it is still a conscious decision we must make every day. So, follow the Spirit’s lead. Choose love over selfish desire, and recognize that God has given you the power to do just that.

3. Evaluate Your Motives Behind Any Behavior.

As we discussed, there might be valid reasons to lie on occasion. Our passage in Ephesians speaks negatively of anger, but we are also given the example of Jesus’ righteous anger in clearing the temple in John 2:13-22.

We are told not to use foul language because our words should be an encouragement to others. Most of us would decide that means no swearing, and yet there have been studies that show swearing can relieve stress.

I’ll be honest here and tell you that I have used swear words to make my husband laugh in stressful moments. I believe these words did accomplish encouragement in those specific circumstances. There are actually passages in Scripture that would have been read as foul language in their original language and context.

There are times when it is appropriate to use harsh words to correct brothers and sisters in Jesus, yet none of this should negate the practice of loving and caring for the people around us.

1 Corinthians 10:31-33 says:

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.

We ought to seek God’s glory and our neighbors’ good in everything we do. This is the opposite of a life lived for selfish pleasure. This is the difference between the lives of those who seek after God versus those who reject Him.

General guidelines apply, but there is no roadmap that can tell you exactly what to do in every circumstance you will encounter. The right thing to do changes based on circumstances and the individual people involved. What doesn’t change is the motive behind the correct choice. In everything we do, let’s pursue love.

As we part ways today, I will share this blessing adapted from Ephesians 4:31:

May God help you as you get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. May He help you be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

To help you meditate on the principles we have discussed today, I have made a short Spotify playlist that you can find here.